The water hyacinth (eichhornia crassipies) is native to the Amazon and has a habit of completely covering the surface of bodies of water, pushing out native species, clogging boat engines, and literally sucking all of the oxygen out of the water it roots in, killing all fish, water creatures and other plants in the area. In Papua New Guinea, it has indirectly caused many deaths by cutting off boat travel along the Sepik River – snakebite victims that could not reach the hospital, farmers who starved since they could not reach their markets or gardens, and malaria victims infected by mosquitos breeding in the slowed water.

Water hyacinths were introduced to North America at the 1884 World’s Fair in New Orleans by a group of Japanese visitors who gave plants out as gifts. The problem became so bad that an organization called The New Foods Society pushed for a bill in Congress to import hippos from Africa and release them into the swamps of Louisiana to eat the plant. The measure fell short by one vote.

The water hyacinth is the Donald Trump of plants. Trump is the water hyacinth of political candidates.

You can see what I’m getting at here. The water hyacinth is adapted for one environment, the Amazon. In a different environment, it becomes hyper-relevant, sucking the oxygen out of the ecosystem and choking the ability of the native species (including humans) to thrive.

Water hyacinths make every other plant in the pond irrelevant in the same way a massive traffic accident that shuts down the interstate makes every other car on the road irrelevant.

So it is with The Donald.

Only the longest of long cons can explain how Trump’s series of offensive and outlandish statements this Presidential election season seem to have increased, rather than torpedoed, his support. As a refresher, here are the most headline-grabbing Trump moments this year:

Trump asserts undocumented Mexican immigrants are “bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists, and some, I assume, are good people.”

Trump attacks and insults Sen. John McCain: “He’s not a war hero. He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured.”

Trump suggests uncomfortable questioning from FOX News moderator Megyn Kelly during the first Republican debate — a question specifically related to his treatment of women — was the result of menstrual moodiness: “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes . . . blood coming out of her wherever.”

Trump insults fellow candidate Carly Fiorina: “Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president?”

Trump falsely asserts that “thousands” of Muslims celebrated in New Jersey on Sept. 11, 2001 following the collapse of the World Trade Center, a position he continues to hold despite categorical proof it never happened.

Trump publicly mocks the physical disability of a reporter by offensively pantomiming the fitful muscular difficulties that are the symptoms of his condition.

Trump indicates his support for the development of databases that record and monitor Muslims in the U.S. and considers that mosques should be “shut down.”

Trump calls for a religious test against Muslims for permission to enter the U.S. for any reason.

I know I’m badly mixing metaphors, but in all cases, Trump is using the hyper-relevance of his trainwreck of an identity (carefully cultivated over decades) to suck the life out of the pond.

So why can’t anyone just be a water hyacinth? Why can’t anyone just trainwreck their way to success? It’s because within the dynamics of relevance, you have to operate from a foundation where, first, you are “in the pond.” Donald Trump has been accepted as a comfortable presence in our pond — by which I mean our living rooms — for more than 30 years.

NEXT INSTALLMENT: The Long Con